Choked

Our world is being choked

*

It has been choked by smoke

Nature burning for months

All living things affected

Earth crying for the fires death

Homes at risk in need of aid

With few high answering the call

Yet when history was set alight

It was quickly promised new life

Tears for glass and stone

Silence for bush and forest

We value that which we make

More than the planet that birthed us

*

It has been choked by sickness

A plague hiding in plain sight

Slithering from soul to soul

Death coiling while power stands by

Too long they took to act

Too little they did to protect

No help for the healers at risk

Yet they claim they have done all

The sickness has not left

And still it is hard to breath

Now they press for normality

More love for coin then life

*

It has been choked by suffering

Oppression from those sworn to protect

Murderers shielded from justice

By the uniform they corrupt

Discrimination now exposed

Though always it was there

And now the people scream

Trying peace and getting violence

Still they fight for every life

Standing proud and striking back

Suffocating the power that chokes them

With gas and spray and hate

*

Amidst all this a common thread

All is choked by fear

*

Fear for nature neglected and abused

Fear of the plague still clinging on

Fear for the safety of all those fighting

Fear of the year getting worse

Fear for the world now falling apart

Fear of the future we cannot see coming

*

One step forward two steps back

New wounds tear through healing scars

Worse worse worse it grows

Consuming our lungs and turning us blue

Trying to believe it is not the end

That all can be weathered and won

Yet as everything cracks and crumbles

It is hard… hard not to choke on despair

*

Choke

I hope we win the fight

Choke

I hope we can survive this year

Choke

I hope for a day we can breathe again

*

That hope is our inhaler

But we still need a respirator

***

Well… haven’t written one of these in a while.

So this is one of three vent poems I’ve written over the years, and what I mean by vent poem is just a poem that lets me vent my feelings on a particular event (whether I am directly involved or not). Despite the fact that I’ve been coping fairly well in terms of mental-health (my depression has flared up over the last few months but never to a serious state) 2020 is wearing on me. Everything that’s happened this year (some things even started last year now I think about it) is starting to get too much to think about, but it’s also unavoidable so I decided to try and get some of it off my chest.

Now I realise I haven’t shared the other two poems on here, and not sure if I’m going to any time soon. See I am an escapist writer. I like fiction as fiction, and while sometimes my work will be inspired by real events/history/personal experiences (whether intentionally or subconsciously) I write to tell stories not make statements. The only piece of fiction that really came from something real was Always There, but even that was just drawing on my depression for inspiration (Tomb Raider was equally responsible for that story); admittedly it was therapeutic, but it’s still intended to be fiction. If people read something deeper into my work then great, go for it and tell me your thoughts, but at this point in time that’s not my aim as a writer. Maybe later that will change, but right now I write for the same reason I read; to get lost in a fictional world.

But every so often something sticks with me and I have to express myself, so that’s what the vent poetry is for. As I said before this is only the third one I’ve ever written, but every time I finish one it makes me feel better. This is the least structured of all the vent poems but the point is to express my feelings, not to win an award, so who cares.

I don’t know why I just rambled on for all that, really I should not be allowed to say anything outside of my written work because I always say a lot of nonsense, haha. Honestly it just feels good to get this out, I haven’t been able to write anything in just over 3 weeks so hopefully this frees my brain up for a return to fiction. Also wordpress? Seriously why can I not leave spaces in between lines?! The asterisks look weird but it’s the only way I can separate the lines how I want!

On a final note regarding the current situation… Black Lives Matter.

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